The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns

 It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his father told him.
"Wouldn't you know it," Johnny fumed, "the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up."

 A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping"

  A kindergarten teacher was walking around observing her classroom of children while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
      The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
      The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
      Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."